Of Strawberries and Festivals

It really did sound too good to be true. This weekend is the “Strawberry Festival” in Garden Grove. Perhaps my visions of strawberry contests and shortcake stands everywhere was a bit delusional, but let me just say that this Strawberry Festival had NOTHING to do with strawberries and was no better than a dirty carnival with some HORRIBLE booths. We’re talking “write your name on a grain of rice” and “subscribe to the LA Times” kind of exhibitors. Real fun. There was only one stand who was selling strawberries….the rest were fried burritos (yes, I did say fried burritos….how gross is that?), corn dogs, and other vile fair fare. We walked the entire fair in less than a half hour and made out with no strawberries at all. Only I can go to a strawberry festival and not eat a strawberry.
Argh. Needless to say, this put me in a very grumpy mood for the remainder of my day. Why we went to Olive Garden for late lunch/early dinner is beyond me!! I had soup, salad, and breadsticks, with their special low cal dressing. I ate 2 breadsticks because I was angry, and now I regret both of them…..mainly because of my horrid garlic breath, but also, I’m still hungry and those 6 points could have equaled a very filling meal had I waited to eat at home.
Is it bad that I blame my husband for all of this? He is 6′5 and 203 lbs. The boy was blessed with the skinny gene, and he eats everything he feels like….almost as though he’s entitled to do it. When we first moved in together, I must’ve gained 10 lbs because all I did was eat his Toaster Strudel before he got up in the morning, sneak a few Chips Ahoy when he was working late, and partake in cheddar brats for a regular dinner!!! Thankfully, my way of eating has had some sort of effect on his, so those types of foods are not allowed into the house anymore. (If they are, he must place them somewhere so high and covert that I will never find them or get motivated enough to climb up to them) Darling hubby LOVES to eat out, and when he does, he craves the molten lava chocolate cake at Chili’s. And even though he loves me, he will always order it when I’m in the bathroom or even when I’m sitting right in front of him. He KNOWS that it takes more willpower than I often have to sit there and watch him chow down on 2000 calories right before my eyes. Yet he does it anyway.
Today, dear husband and I got in a little spat in the car and I told him he was obsessed. (He is– a bug smooshed into his windshield and he continued to clean it, even though it wasn’t that big of a bug) He turned it around on me and said things would be easier if I wasn’t so obsessed with not eating.
Yeah, not a good thing to say to someone who’s lost 30 some-odd pounds and struggles to keep it off every single day. Does he want the fat girl back? What was that about? I really lost it in the car at that moment. Does he not understand that everything I eat sticks? That if I don’t monitor or avoid situations like Chilis and their evil molten lava chocolate cake, I will go back to the way I used to be….and maybe even more?! Deep down, I know he knows, but it’s so much more convenient for him if I just go with the flow and eat what he eats. He’s a guy, what do I expect?
I expect more.
I know that there are more of you out there that experience the very same thing. The diet sabotage comes from those that you love the very most. They love you, too, but they don’t understand what you are going through. They can’t. I’m hoping that one day, my husband will realize that offering me another bite of his ice cream sundae or trying to lure me into ordering something blatantly unhealthy is not being nice to me….in fact, it’s hurting all of me, body and mind.
Well, this poor entry went South awful fast! My apologies for the vent, but I can’t do it anywhere else and for once, it’s actually on topic. Perhaps the day would have been better had there been more strawberries and festival at the Strawberry Festival.