Friday, January 29, 2010

The freight train is coming

The baby freight train, that is. Equipped with skin anomolies, hip pain, random belly cramps, and an enormous amount of uncontrollable weight gain. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and cry. Can this be over yet? Oh,'s only going to get worse.

Exercise is getting more and more difficult. In yoga, when we do "pansy" pushups, I find my arm strength has practically disappeared! And when we do balancing poses, I'm starting to get a little bit wobbly. Yesterday in the gym, my upper back and shoulders were so seized up that I lasted only 5 minutes a piece on the elliptical and then stationary bike before moving on to the treadmill for some fast walking....but then 20 minutes later I had horrible cramps under my bump and they would only go away when I slowed down. What the *(&(*&@34*&~!!!!! How am I supposed to exercise through this crap?

My one saving grace is that CWW starts up again next week with 2 sessions a week that I'll be able to attend pretty easily for swim practice. Of course, it's with Coach Meanypants, but how can he yell at a woman who is 28 weeks pregnant?? (Yes, we are at the 28 week mark starting tomorrow...insanity) I have 1 swimsuit left that fits, but that might even be pushing it. I look like a beached whale. i'm getting slower by the day...but surely I'll be faster than some of these women there.

I've started panicking about my maternity leave as well. I've had 5 days off from work in the past 2 weeks (use 'em or lose 'em) and they have been incredibly boring! But moreso than that, they've left me feeling more disconnected from my job than ever. This depresses me more than you could possibly know. My boss told me I was being ridiculous and that I have nothing to worry about, but the whole thing really does seem unfair. 12 weeks off to bond with baby is a blessing -- I get it. But my career has been #1 for over 5 years now.....why do I have to feel like it's so vulnerable now that I've chosen the path of motherhood? Times like these make me wish DH had a uterus. He'd be happy as a clam popping out babies and staying home to cook and clean and play. I will slit my wrists.

My only positive this week was a 3D ultrasound of the little man. We're going back this afternoon for a second chance, since he wasn't too cooperative, but I did manage to get one good side profile of him. He's pretty darn cute, I have to say. But if one more person tells me he looks like DH, I am going to smack them. (OK, it wouldn't be bad for him to get DH's looks and body composition genes....but I hope he gets a good combination of our brains because then he'll have the perfect balance of book smarts and street smarts!) :) Here's his first photo:

And then the moment you've all been waiting for. (NOT) This was a few days ago. 27 weeks, 27 lbs up. KILL ME NOW. My shirt is loose so I had it pulled back -- I am not that just feels like it. As you can see, it looks like I'm carrying high, but that's crap because I feel him punch me deep down in my pelvis. So that's just stomach and guts and stuff. Lucky me. :)

So that's my scoop! Stressed about impending baby, dealing with new maladies day by day, and anxiously awaiting a better face shot so I can tell once and for all how cute this little one really is. :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Hit with the Ugly Stick

You would not believe the night I just had.

We had a lovely Outback dinner and I behaved *so* well, opting for the grilled tilapia and vegetables, holding the sauce and only using lemon. It tasted so gross, but I was so proud for being such a healthy girl. And then I had an individual serving of the peanut butter pie, because I had behaved too well for my liking and needed a little chocolate and peanut butter in my system. Sinful.

So things were looking great. We catch up on our DVR'ed shows from the past week, and I head to bed where I get 3 1/2 excellent hours of sleep.....and then I wake up. Am I hungry? Yes. But this shall pass. I lay in bed some more, and hunger starts to turn a little.....sick. I switch sides, and almost instantly I shoot out of bed and run to the bathroom.

Poor DH followed me in but he doesn't have the stomach for vomit these days, so he stood in the hallway telling me how sorry he was. I just wanted everything OUT of my stomach.

I felt pretty fabulous afterwards, but this morning I looked in the mirror and I look as though I've been bludgeoned in the face!!! I must have popped every damn blood vessel, because I have the face of a liver-spotted 100-year old man. Woe is me.

What else is next, little baby? What are you doing to me?!

In other news, I went to my first prenatal yoga class on Thursday. I walked into the room of 10 women and checked everyone out......basketballs, watermelons, mangoes......and a 60-year old woman who looked at us like we were nuts when we asked her how far along she was. "What? I'm not pregnant! I'm 60!" My instructor had to inform her that "prenatal" implied before child is born, and that this was no regular class. The poor woman got up and left, but not without all of us having a good laugh at her expense. Oh well.

Class itself didn't start out too promising. "Picture your baby swimming in a sea of tranquility." Speaking of vomit......I had trouble not laughing out loud at the start. But eventually, my slightly wacked out, crunchy doula-turned-yogi led us through a pretty normal class. Down dog, sun salutation, crescent lunge, runner's lunge, cat/cows, child's pose, warrior, reverse warrior..... It was more intense than I was expecting, but in a good way. Challenging to the muscles and preparing us all for the road that lies ahead. She gave us a few ways to change the baby's position, and this helped me out a ton because baby had been lying inward for 2 days and had been tap dancing all over my bladder. After yoga, he had turned and my lower back felt instantly better.

Did I meet my new best friend in prenatal yoga? Um, no. But these ladies will do for now.

I owe everyone a belly pic, so I'll see if I can cover up the ugly face with some good makeup and get the hubby to start documenting this pregnancy since it's reached some gargantuan proportions. This better be the only time in my life that I weight this much!

25 weeks today.......3rd tri's a freight train.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Year....No Resolutions

I'm not going to promise to write more. I'm not going to try to lose weight (until after April). I'm not even going to try and be a better person.

Nope. My goal? Make it to April 24th in one piece and add a new member to the family.

As things progress, I find myself getting more and more antsy. Which new symptoms will plague me this week? When are the stretch marks coming? Can I get any slower in the water? Do swimsuits really break under pressure? Can I start sleep training the little one in the womb?

Yes, very antsy indeed. Am pleased to report that a lot of the important stuff is done. 20 week ultrasound -- done. Baby is still a boy, and he is perfect as far as we can tell. Maternal serum test came back negative for open spinal cord defects. 4D ultrasound is booked for the 26th. Glucose screen booked on the 26th. Crib and coordinating furniture were not only ordered, but arrived 12 weeks early and are assembled! Crib bedding is ordered. Shower invitations have been ordered. Prenatal yoga class has been signed up for. Aqua Aerobics is being added to the rotation briefly. DH and I are signed up for our Childbirth classes and Infant Care classes. Is this impressive or what?

Admittedly, I haven't run at all since my crawling episode at the Turkey Trot. Heard one too many stories of pelvic floor injuries postpartum that I think I will just return to running after I drop this little one. Instead, I've been on the elliptical for 50 minutes over lunch watching the Dog Whisperer, making sure it all seems "easy" to me. I swim on Sundays with my needy friend who actually laps me within 200 meters. (She claims it's because of her flip turns.....I secretly hope in a race situation she becomes timid and gets dunked a few million times so that I beat her) I've noticed some interesting things over the past few weeks, though..... My freaking hips must be spreading, courtesy of that fantastic relaxin crap. It's painful to walk for the first few minutes after getting up from a chair, and they ache late at night. I'm also feeling more awkward in the water. At first, swimming was liberating because I was blissfully unaware of my abdomen. But then baby turned into a 1lb sack of sugar and now, I always know he is down there.

At my 23 week appointment, I was up 20 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. Oops! And I managed to do this all while eating no more than 1800 calories a day and by working out 3-4 times a week. My Dr. isn't concerned at all. She doesn't realize how traumatizing this is. My boss just says I must not love my baby enough if I am concerned about gaining weight while pregnant. Eat me, people. I seriously need everyone to understand that I am very conscious of my weight and it doesn't mean I care for the baby any less. Couldn't I be like my cousin and be even with the pre-preg weight? Seriously?!

Is there anything non-baby in my life, you ask?

No, not really. I'm pretty sad and pathetic. I'm watching my bikini line disappear as my abdomen gets bigger and bigger. I'm discovering all sorts of new maladies that my body is capable of throwing at me. I pee a lot. The heartburn is enough to make me want to slit my wrists.....thank goodness for Prilosec. And when I go to bed, I read about sleep training and infant care. I'm pretty special these days.

Anyway, will leave you with a few pics. Not terribly exciting, but it's all I'm capable of right now!

Here's my munchkin caught sleeping in the infant bouncer. Boy is he in for a surprise!

This is the crib, assembled in its new home!
And here is the little snot at 19 weeks and 3 days.