Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Aftermath

This has been a week of picking up the pieces.


DH is finally home. It's been a rough few weeks on him, and I have to think I've been experiencing many of the same emotions he has. If he followed my cycle, then last week he was devastated and felt worthless. And on Saturday, he was so angry at himself that he could spit. Today? He's calm and at ease.


We will move on. I'm not pushing him to make a choice just yet, but if I were a betting girl, I'd still say there was a pilot in there who may try to continue on. But I am not expecting anything just yet. He's still dealing with the disappointment of it all.


I'm mourning my triathlon season. Work has consumed me this week, and I've not had one spare second to take off and do a workout. Not only do I feel like a blob, but I'm realizing that my workouts were my release from all the pressure. I am going to have to make a conscious effort to stay physical these next few months, as I think it's a benefit to my mental health in addition to my physical health!


We had our end-of-the-season party last night, and the old group had a blast seeing eachother again. It's not that I don't like the newbies....I just don't know them. When I started the program in June, I was pretty upset that there were mostly older women. I'd wanted to make new friends, but just couldn't imagine how I would enjoy spending 18 weeks with housewives, retirees, and working moms who were 10+ years my senior. Funny how triathlon breaks down all those barriers. Last night, we were a giggling group of teenagers again. Chatting about husbands, races, food......but mostly, we were a group of friends who couldn't wait for the next two months to hurry up so we can be together all over again. This was a journey, and it bound us together.


Thankfully, we plan to do workouts together over the next few months to keep us sane and close. Once I get DH straightened out, I'm ready to hit the road with them and get ready! It's all about Oly distance next year....I must push myself and see once and for all what I am made of. I'm aiming for an early-season race, so we'll see how that goes!


Another major bummer about the end of triathlon is the start of Weight Watchers again. Inactivity means I don't have that nice 600 calorie buffer when I go out to eat! Wow, it's crazy how that happens. I really took some liberties with my eating that I will start to pay for if I don't watch out. I mean, I ate a waffle with apples yesterday for brunch. I didn't eat any butter or syrup, but it literally melted in my mouth so it must have been horrific for me. Stuff like that can't happen. This is the return of Egg White omlettes. No butter. No buns. Turkey burgers. Back to being the workplace Food Nazi. Yes, this is how it must be.


So that is the week in a nutshell. Picking up the pieces. And dealing with totally crappy race pictures, where I look pale as a ghost and appear to be tortured beyond comprehension. (Why don't I smile?!!) But here's the money shot, right before I ralphed. Literally, right before.


2 comments:

Amanda said...

I am so sorry to hear about your DH and the end of your season. But you have a great outlook and sounds like a great plan for the off season. You will do fine back on the WW wagon. I know you will!

Unknown said...

Are you hanging in there? Miss you! Sending hugs and prayers your way! Are the fires affecting you at all??