Saturday, August 21, 2010

Can I Get a Do-Over?

Yes, silence on the line. I'd blame it on the kid, but he's really not the sole cause of my absence here. I guess I'm just not inspired!

Until this morning.

We're a few days shy of the 4-month mark, and I find myself thinking that my child has certainly gotten the shaft in the parenting department. Who let me out of the hospital with him?? Despite all my reading and classes, I really knew nothing and was petrified of him for months. I couldn't swaddle to save my life, breastfeeding was insane, I didn't know how to get him to fall asleep, I was sleep-deprived because I couldn't figure out how to multitask.....well, the list goes on and on.

After 4 months, I finally feel like I know how to take care of this baby. Took me long enough, huh? Consequently, I am also more attached than ever. I had to go to Book Club last night and I missed seeing him entirely after our morning feeding, and I was so upset when I went to sleep. How crazy is that?

I can't help but feel that poor D could have had it better if I knew what I was doing from the get-go. It certainly makes the case for a #2. Slow the rush of pregnancy down, try to enjoy the experience, and then be all over caring for the baby instead of feeling like we are drowning. But first....recover the body.

Next weekend is my first real race after pregnancy.....Iron Girl Boulder. I signed up thinking I'd be in stellar shape by now, but the truth of the matter is, I'm a far cry from the way I used to be. I struggle to run -- my pelvis still feels bruised and for days after runs, I feel like my lower guts are going to just pour out of me! I don't have time to swim -- I come home at night and my parents have the baby all ready for me and leave me immediately. They have him for 6 hours during the day, and that's no time. And my bike? Geesh, perhaps the hardest sport of all. I could try to ride my trainer, but he doesn't go to sleep until 8-9pm.....and then I have to shower, clean bottles, pump, and clean again before bedtime. I really cannot do a hard trainer ride at night! And mornings are out -- I am exhausted enough as-is getting up at 5:30am to pump before I have to wake D up and then get ready for work.

What I have done, though, is sneak away for a few weekend days and take my bike down to the trail. My first ride back was 25 miles, and I was proud of myself. Going to the turnaround, I was only hitting 16 mph and pretty much broke down into tears....but things improved on the way back, bringing me to an 18mph average, which is about 1 mph slower than I typically do for the distance. I guess I can handle that.

Two weekends ago, I joined the old triathlon team for a mock tri at Aurora Reservoir. It was a 1/2 mile swim, 12 mile bike, 3 mile run...... I had a heck of a time squeezing my fat body into my wetsuit, but I managed. Time trial start -- I managed to pass almost everyone in my division by the time I got out of the water. It's not saying much, but I was pretty proud. No watch on, but I was well under 20 minutes. Hoping it was around 15 minutes, because then I wouldn't have lost much time in the swim since pregnancy. But who knows??? The bike was really hilly and a blast on the outbound route, although I did miss the turnaround and added 7 miles to my total bike ride.....almost 19 miles for me that day! And then run? Hardly a run. I could cardiovascularly only handle a 2 min run/1 min walk interval. I kept getting, "you can do it!" comments from people, and I just wanted to yell at them, "I had a traumatic birth and pushed out a baby 3 1/2 months ago!" But I just ignored them and continued on......and finished, although it wasn't pretty.

So just in case you are wondering, you can finish a triathlon on no training at all. It sucks, but it's possible.

Next Saturday is going to be quite an adventure. I signed up to prove to myself that I could do it..... But now that I know so many old college friends are racing, I wish I'd been able to train appropriately for it. Because instead of handing them their butts on a platter, it will likely be the other way around..... And my baby won't be at the finish line to greet me, so I'm really lacking the motivation to "suffer" because there aren't too many rewards. Oh well! Should make for an interesting race report, eh?

On the baby front, he is growing by leaps and bounds and next week is his 4-month appointment. I can't believe how quickly time flies! He is rolling over from back to tummy now, can sit up with assistance, loves to jabber away, shrieks to get my attention, and cries when DH puts him in his carseat to go to my parents' house for the day. Funny boy. His witching hour is unfortunately when I have him, so from 5:30-8:00pm, he is hell on wheels and quite the challenge. He's a bit of a teething, drooling machine, so we live for Sophie the Giraffe and other toys he can shove into his mouth, like the Winkel! I'm putting myself on a budget, because the baby spending is quite literally insane.

And that's that! Evil baby is waking from his half hour morning nap, so I have to run. Here's some cuteness:

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Oh girlfriend!!! I think we have all said or at least thought that after the birth of our first child!!! You are in a fog after that first one. I remember days I never even got out of my nursing night gown! DH would come home and my dishes from breakfast would still be in the sink! You are sleep deprived, going down a totally new road for you and your DH (who obviously can't breast feed so helping you out through the night is out of the question). Once the wee one starts sleeping through the night more (both of mine did at 8 weeks-don't hate me!), the fog lifts a little bit. You go back to work and then realize that this is now your life. Yeah those first few months are rough!!!!

And don't freak out about recovering your body. I applaud you for getting out there already for a tri. I still don't have my body back after #2...never got it all the way back after #1 and mine are FOUR YEARS apart! Good luck though...but give yourself some are a new mom and your baby is only 4 months old! Good luck. :)