Slowly Losing My Mind

Day 10.

Stitches came out today. I asked him if it was going to hurt, and he said, "yes." Like I was stupid or something. I was expecting some sort of topical anesthetic or something, but he just yanked and snipped. As the medical assistant left the room, I sobbed. Holy SHIT this whole knee thing really sucks.

Surgeon came in. "Any calf cramps or pains?" No. "Get that sock off. You look like an old woman." Gee, thanks. "Your meniscus was intact. I removed your plica. About 40% of the population have plica, and 2% have problems with it, symptomatic of torn cartilage. I removed it, and your knee looks great." Yes, thanks....I googled it after the surgery. So, when do I start physical therapy? "You don't need it. Do your leg raises. You can start running and biking in 3 weeks. Swimming in one week. I'll see you in six." But what about my knee flexion? How far should I be able to get it now? "Show me." (I show him 75 degrees of flexion, which is pretty damn good for me right now) "That sucks. Get it to 120 by next week. If you can't, call me."

That was it. A-Hole anti-PT left the room, and I was so shook up I left my Blackberry there. I hobbled out of the room and all I could think was, "how in the hell am I supposed to be able to run in 3 weeks? I can't even walk without a terrible limp!" It's true. I walk like a freaking Grandma, with my hand on my hip, my butt sticking out, walking a 60-minute mile. Insanity.

I'm just so exasperated. I have e-mailed my physical therapist, who I am not in love with, but how bad can he hurt me? I don't need a referral for him since he's out of network. But $40 for a 1/2 hour really adds up. I'll see him this week and see if he can help me get my range of motion back. I just really, desperately need the help. And I am absolutely floored that this surgeon refuses to send me to PT! I know he is old school, but he practically wrote the book on arthroscopic knee surgery. He does good work. But how his patients ever recover is beyong me.

His parting words were, "you're a strong girl. You'll manage."

Eff you, buddy! I'm beyond cranky....

And to top it all off, I am sans Blackberry and feel positively naked without it! DH is going to have to go retrieve it before work for me tomorrow. And of course, that's the phone that the home builder has....and we are expecting word on our long-lost contract and the Design Center.

And if all of that wasn't enough, I'm as big as a freaking house and too afraid to weigh myself. I need a WW intervention BADLY.

But until then, I shall continue to suffer through the day. This strong girl just wants to sit on the couch with her leg elevated and have a good cry. 3 weeks to running? If only!!!